Atty. Shortcake

I know a lot of lawyers who cringed at a certain flamboyant brethren. He seems to be the attorney-in-demand for notorious personalities. You may well say: “If its some nefarious client, he must be represented by Atty. __.”

Some call him Atty. Short Cake and thats the only way they can throw potshots at him for his off-court and in-court antics. But most of the time, lawyers – including myself – just shrug off our disgust and disbelief. We do not do anything about it although most if not all the grandstanding, ridiculous pronouncements and behaviors we observed contradict our basic ethical code as lawyers.

But why are there Attys. Shortcakes in our hallowed profession? The loud, flamboyant, flashy and cocky ones who are starting to define “abogados” in this day and age.

I knew the reason a long time ago. A client of mine, a young Filipino-Chinese businessmen recommended me to his father, an aging tycoon. The old man and I were supposed to meet at their factory but at the appointed time, the factory gates were never opened to let me in. Thinking that my client bungled the schedule, i phoned him. Only to be told that his father did not expect an “abogado de campanilla” (a description by my young client) to be driving an Asian Utility Vehicle (AUV). I was not given any second thought. Instead, the company hired a
“Shortcake” of a lawyer: loud, flamboyant, flashy and cocky who charges by the page. Later my young client told me that his father favored a lawyer who dresses well, talks loudly and promises a lot. “Old school” he said.

Another client minted this undying rationale: in order for a lawyer to get clients, he has to brush up on the 3 visible manifestations of a good lawyer: an expensive car, an expensive watch and an expensive pair of shoes. He reasoned out that clients do not have the privilege of looking inside a lawyer’s head. “We are not psychologists, Attorney. But we surely know what an original Rolex looks like!”

Sadly, if we members of the Bar continue to turn a blind eye and have a deaf ear to these fake lawyers, we are also part of the problem.

(Note: I am writing this while waiting for the release of the 2022 Bar Examination results which is rumored to be LOWEST in decades at 19%. Hopefully the few who will be able to pass this year’s Bar Exams will not become “Attys. Shortcakes”)